My dog Flash is getting older, as are we all. And I blame his senior bladder for how our house smells these days. No, he didn't have an accident, or not the kind you're thinking of. But let me just say you may not want to come visit for awhile.
He now needs to go out in the middle of the night occasionally to do his thing as we like to call it. (Puppies for Dummies advised that you repeat a certain phrase while your puppy is potty-training, so he'll link that to the urge and go on command. It worked on this OCD border collie.)
He wakes me very sweetly, first with a scratch or two at the door, then with a little "woof" until I get the message and get up. So last Thursday night he went out at about 1:30 am while I blearily waited by the door. There was some barking, then we were suddenly enveloped in that burnt-rubber, sulfurous, gassy odor that is pure skunk. Flash came trotting back as if nothing happened and tried to get back in my room. He honestly didn't smell or look like he'd been skunked or maybe it was middle-of-the-night wishful thinking on my part, but we both went back to bed. The next morning it was clear that either he or the house or both were on the receiving end of Mephitis mephitis.
I think Flash must have ducked out of the way or the skunk was a long way off, 'cause he wasn't as bad as I've experienced with past dogs. However, I knew I had to deal with it when the next morning I went to work and smelled skunky all day. On my clothes, just from hanging overnight in a closet in the same house as a smelly dog! That stuff is a bio-weapon that could take down a subway train. (Hmmm - screenplay idea?) Anyway.
I took him to the Dogromat on Saturday, which I love for the name if nothing else, and I brushed and sudsed and conditioned and sprayed and then I washed the dog. [Do I need to point out when I make a joke, or is it obvious? Just wondering.] He came home all fluffy and soft but still pretty odorous.
Even though it's freezing already, we've been opening the doors to air out the house and burning smelly finely-scented candles. Nothing seems to help except getting used to it. Then you go outside to get the mail or take out the garbage and it hits you again like the first time when you come back in.
I cooked a lot this weekend, putting up tomato sauce, apple chutney, etc. in some atavistic winter burrowing ritual. Mmmm. Nothing says home like the oddly-not-unpleasant mix of skunk, garlic and onions. Sure you don't want to come over?