she's just saying...

...just as long as they spell my name right.

where the magic happens

The local alternative weekly, the Source Weekly, asked me recently to write a personal article about blogging. And now I'm blogging about my article about blogging. Now that's meta.

Anyway, they didn't spell my name right in the byline, though they did in the little bio after the article. They also didn't publish my photo, for which I'm thankful. But no matter. They got the blog name right.

I'm still not quite sure why they wanted this article, other than the reporter telling me she reads my blog and enjoys it (hi, Sara!). The issue was the Women's Issue, though primarily focused on women in the work world. Also, I'm over 50, which I'm sure the Source didn't know because if they did I'd have been banned from publication. 

I used to work at an alternative weekly in Boston, the Boston Phoenix. I was the traffic manager, in charge of making sure all the ads ran that were scheduled. And all the local clubs would call in to me with their band listings for the week, which was kinda fun for some reason. What I remember most is the coincidence that my sisters' high school friend worked there. (shout out to Clif here) And all the futon ads.

That experience is actually what propelled me to get an MBA and go into advertising. The place was wildly stressful and chaotic (these were the days of physical paste-up. It's when the layout artist actually - oh, never mind.) The national cigarette and liquor ads would come in from the ad agencies all nicely finished with paperwork and such. They seemed so professional.So calm. So organized. Ha.

Since my major from a private East Coast liberal arts college was Art, I clearly needed more education, so I got an MBA in marketing and was recruited by an NYC ad agency actually on Madison Avenue. The rest is history.

So I have a soft spot in my heart for alt weeklies, even if they not proofread so gud.

Does it count as sunny if you have no shadow?

Bend boosters like to quote the statistic that we get 300 days of sunshine here -- it counteracts the Oregon = rain perception people hold. Everyone quotes the same number: 300. Realtors, the Chamber of Commerce, the medical clinic, golf resorts and the local HVAC company all repeat this frequently. (With the notable exception of a surly curmudgeon whose entire blog exists to dispute this number.) I'm not sure how the "300 days" stat was compiled, but I'm just saying we'd better see sunshine non-stop through New Year's if we're going to hit that this year.

Due to the frequent brilliant sunshine there's a interesting phenomenon that occurs in Central Oregon around February and March. By now we're seriously bored with winter and start to believe that sun = spring. People shed the down and fleece and run around in shorts and t-shirts. Myself, I stop wearing jackets to work and start leaving the doors open, until I realize I'm freezing. 35 degrees is 35 degrees whether it's December or May.

(There's a subset of guys who wear shorts year-round here. They tend to be of three kinds: snowboarders, 30-something dads who pretend they're snowboarders, and the UPS guy. The shorts are the long cargo-type, so at least we're spared large flashes of goosebumpy flesh.)

The kids immediately wear tank tops (gals) or take their shirts off (dudes) and hang around the park downtown. By the way, I seem to have turned into the kind of mom who says: "Those children must be freezing!" How did that happen?

Then it turns gray and cold and rainy again and we remember it's only February.

I'm happy to report that I'm in a far better place than I was this time last year, when I wrote this depressing post.  Wow. Good thing I didn't have my biathlon rifle back then.

Where the cool kids hang out. And the geese. On a much nicer day than today.

Top Ten Tues: boring details edition

Drowning Girl by Roy Lichtenstein

What idiot said: "Don't sweat the small stuff -- and it's all small stuff"?

Actually, he's right, it pretty much is all small stuff. But it all has to be sweated, or it won't get done. Then what do you have?? The fabric of our society torn apart, rather than just fraying at the edges.

I'm having one of those nights. Here's what I'm obsessing about:

1. Henry's 11th birthday tomorrow - I haven't planned anything
2. Buying cookies for Henry's class on the way to work in the am
3. Finishing videos and the website for the new exhibit we're opening Thursday
4. Flying out at 6 am Sat. for a knitting retreat
5. Organizing Henry for the weekend, complete with ski stuff
6. Valentines Day (the day I return) - cards, candy, etc. for H.
7. Ravelympics 2010 - a knitting event during the Olympics (I'm on Team Hopelessly Overcommitted)
8. Calling my parents
9. Getting Flash to the vet, and oh, who's going to watch him this weekend?
10. Fixing the leak over the kitchen window - needs professional help

Sometimes it's all too much. Nothing to do but have another glass of wine and tackle today's Sudoku. Or whine about it in a blog post.

What do you do when you're being sucked under by the small stuff?

Coolest. Quit. Ever.

Sun Microsystems CEO Jonathan Schwartz announced his resignation yesterday through a haiku on Twitter.

"Today's my last day at Sun. I'll miss it. Seems only fitting to end on a #haiku. Financial crisis/Stalled too many customers/CEO no more"

I don't know about you, but I'm pretty impressed. It almost makes me want to follow my Twitter timeline again. Of course, if you had to tweet in haiku it would be a hell of a lot more interesting.

What would you write if you were a Twitter quitter? In haiku?

I actually love my job, and believe me, I'm very aware of how lucky I am. So I don't even want to write a hypothetical resignation, in case it jinxes me somehow.

However, I'd just like to point out the following:

*From wikihow: "A haiku is a non-rhymed verse genre, conveying an image or feeling in two parts spread over three lines, usually with a seasonal reference. There are 5 syllables in the first sentence, 7 in the second and 5 again in the last sentence. ...

It is important to distinguish between pseudo-haiku that says whatever it wants in a 5-7-5 syllable pattern and literary haiku that adheres to the use of season words, a two-part juxtapositional structure, and primarily objective sensory imagery."

Sorry, Jonathan. Major points for style, taken away for pseudo-haiku. I'd say you should keep your day job, but I guess you just trashed that option.

Meanwhile, I'm now fired up about attempting to write a haiku, something I haven't done since 4th grade. And of course, I'll share my work with you, dear readers. And I'm challenging you to do the same!

England must be catching a chill...

because hits on my posts mentioning handmade fowl outergarments are WAY up.

Wouldn't it just be easier to just glue their feathers back on?  OK, I concede it might not be easier, but certainly more permanent.

Or cutting up old sweatpants and making drawstring ponchos?

Or how about electric blankets, as in our favorite book "Click Clack Moo?"

(click on the little thumbnails to see more)

• 
• 
• 

I'm not going to spoil the denouement here, but it involves the duck.

Maybe knitting a cape is the easiest, actually. Seems like a weird way to spend your time, but I really can't talk, having knit several apple cozies lately.   

Christmas greetings! Naughty or nice?

As I mentioned, I don't send Christmas cards. Or, I do send them, just virtually: a blog post to all!

First, the family-friendly card:

  My Central Oregon readers will note that this is a Western-Oregon-centric card. The Bend version would have to include cyclists, burning buttes and roundabouts.

For the rest of you (you know who you are),

Apologies to my Christian readers. Do I even have any?
(Don't answer. Rhetorical. Really.)

"You like me. Right now, you like me." *

*Actual transcript of Sally Fields' 1985 Oscar acceptance speech.

Tonight I went to a Christmas event for the Board I'm on. While I was mingling, a young elected official who I admire began to praise my blog to all around us. I was so surprised -- I didn't know she knew of it, and she clearly was a frequent reader. She said she felt like a part of my life. I was so pleased, and frankly stunned.

[She also told me this great story about the Baked Goods Christmas Tree she won but that's another post.]

I know some of my regular readers: there's the blog writing crowd (linked over there on the right), some coworkers and my family, but who else?  I have no idea. (Sorry, but I don't count the chicken-sweater seekers. They don't care about me -- they just want poultry patterns.)

It's such a self-indulgent exercise, writing a personal blog. I have nothing much to talk about except my ever-fascinating self. I keep myself entertained, but I'm always so taken aback when I hear from others who enjoy it. That truly feels like a gift from the universe. 

So here's to you, known and hidden readers. For you I search for new topics, I edit my words carefully, I sit down and write even when I have nothing to say. I don't know how long this blog will continue (I'm beginning to bore myself, frankly), but as long as you're out there, I'll keep trying. Kisses and hugs, love you, mean it and all that. Hope you had a Happy Hanukkah. (We'll discuss Christmas later)

I just got a lot more creative

I use Flickr to store and post my photos. Within Flickr there's an editing app called Picnik. It's a terrific, flexible editor that quickly crops, resizes, corrects color, red eye, exposure, etc.

Yesterday I clicked on another tab in Picnik titled "create." That function allows you to add text and images and effects to photos. So to play with my pictures, I don't have to open an involved photo editing program - it's all in one place, for free.

For example, it can do this:

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Nativity

OMG. Thank you, Kathi D, for pointing out this blog.

This is my favorite pic so far...

Nativity

Top 10 Tuesday: blogging tips

I'm actually a little hesitant to post this entry, because what do I know about blogging tips, and am I implying that my blog is a successful model?  Seriously. I get about 82 readers a day, most of whom are looking for fowl outerwear. (Yes, that's fowl with a "w." Check out the "poultrywear" category over there to the left). Or zucchini risotto, though that's died down since zucchini season has passed. Or 10 ten annoying songs, G.I. girls in glasses, ant farms, you name it. It's a little weird out there.

Anyway. I don't consider myself a Writer so I won't give you composition pointers. Just the blog guidelines I follow - made to be broken, of course.

1. Post at least 3 times a week - quantity is as important as quality. And don't make the posts too long. We have very short attention spans out here in blogland.
2. Don't write anything you don't want your mother or your boss to read, because they will.
3. Remember who your readers are and try to aim posts at them, though not all at the same time.
4. But don't make it too cliqueish if you want new readers.
5. Use daily themes if you like (like today's), but don't be rigid - sprinkle judiciously. They get  tedious.
6. Encourage comments and reply to them. Be nice.
7. Other bloggers are your best audience. Read and comment on other blogs, and reciprocate blog links.
8. Jot down thoughts whenever they happen 'cause they'll be gone in an instant. 
9. Link and list your blog on Facebook, local sites, blog catalogs, etc.
10. Use lists, memes (blog games), random blog links, silly news, etc. if you run out of content ideas. That's why it's a blog.

Again, this is assuming you want to build your readership and community. If you don't care about that, write whatever and however the hell you want! It's your blog!

 

A meta-comment comment

It has come to my attention that some blog readers are unaware that there is a place where they and other readers can read and leave comments regarding posts.

See down there under this post where it says in 6-pt. type: "Comments"? Just click that to open a whole new world of blogging richness.

In regard to my own blog, most of the comments are actually funnier than the original post so you're definitely missing out if you don't read them.

For example, regarding Bend Broadband's new slogan: 

Liana said...

My first impression of that motto was that it makes it sound like they are being "forced" to do a good job. Like they wouldn't be under pressure to do quite as good a job if they weren't serving locals. ...

Would it be any better if they changed it to "We the local dog..."?

Ha!

And in regard to my recent brush with the law,

Kathi D said...

I would never speed. Or break the law in any which way. No, never.

To which I say:

Right.

See what you've been missing?

You know who you are...

To all my blog readers and FaceBook friends:

Thank you so much for the birthday wishes, encouragement and random comments you've sent my way. If I don't personally acknowledge them, please know that I appreciate each morsel and think of you when I read yours. In the ferris wheel of my life, commenting on comments is one task that I have to eschew, along with taking back cans for a nickel, brushing my pets and cataloging my knitting needles. 

So this will have to stand for my personal thank you and tip o' the ol' blogging cap to regulars, occasionals and even the lurkers out there in web world.

[Unless you're Kathi D., a blogger I've never met or spoken to who somehow got her own category for heaven's sake.]

manual red-eye correction